Tag Archives: surrender

Love is Grief is Love is…

You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. Thoughts of your dear one consume every moment you’re awake and asleep.

GRIEF comes slowly. It knocks softly on the door, at first. Then, it becomes more insistent as the weeks and months go by, until it hits you in the face: It is Grief, and it is here.

Grief comes quickly. You are walking along, minding your own business. Everything is fine with the world, and then, Bam! There is Grief. It is shocking in its intensity. You try to deny it, but all the signs are there, and it cannot be denied. Sudden Grief can only be accepted, and only by those who are strong enough to handle its bombshell.

Grief affects every single cell in your body. You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat (or you eat more than you should). Thoughts of Grief and of the one you Lost consume every moment while you’re awake and while you sleep.

Grief makes you think you’re going crazy. Your thoughts become irrational. You think of the past and of the future. Even when you want to concentrate on the moment, the enormity of Grief makes it difficult.

Why Grief, you wonder? Why Grief now? Is this really real? This feels too horrible to be true. The intensity of Grief stops you in your tracks. It wants your undivided attention. No longer can you spend time on the mundane. Grief must be dealt with—must be processed—first.

You who can process Grief can move forward into a new, peaceful coexistence with the one you Lost. You who deny Grief are stuck in its grasp. Even though a tranquil life is ahead, it is around a bend in the road. Processing Grief places you at the bend, and that is where you can see your new life. The one you Lost is there and brings beauty to your life. You can breathe and function again. And yes, there is Love off in the distance when the time is right and not a moment before.

Grief is what it is. Accepting and embracing Grief make it real. When Grief arrives, invite it in. Let it stay as long as it wants to. Don’t speed it up. Don’t slow it down. Let it take you on the journey you need. Grief is not an anomaly. It is not abnormal. It is not an exception to Life’s rules. It is not to be denied. Whether Grief arrives slowly or quickly, it is meant to be embraced and integrated. Grief will forever change you for the better, if only you will let it.

 

LOVE comes slowly. It knocks softly on the door, at first. Then, it becomes more insistent as the weeks and months go by, until it hits you in the face: It is Love, and it is here.

Love comes quickly. You are walking along, minding your own business. Everything is fine with the world, and then, Bam! There is Love. It is shocking in its intensity. You try to deny it, but all the signs are there, and it cannot be denied. Sudden Love can only be accepted, and only by those who are strong enough to handle its bombshell.

Love affects every single cell in your body. You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat (or you eat more than you should). Thoughts of Love and of the one you Found consume every moment while you’re awake and while you sleep.

Love makes you think you’re going crazy. Your thoughts become irrational. You think of the past and of the future. Even when you want to concentrate on the moment, the enormity of Love makes it difficult.

Why Love, you wonder? Why Love now? Is this really real? This feels too wonderful to be true. The intensity of Love stops you in your tracks. It wants your undivided attention. No longer can you spend time on the mundane. Love must be dealt with—must be processed—first.

You who can process Love can move forward into a new, peaceful coexistence with the one you Found. You who deny Love are stuck in its grasp. Even though a tranquil life is ahead, it is around a bend in the road. Processing Love places you at the bend, and that is where you can see your new life. The one you Found is there and brings beauty to your life. You can breathe and function again. And yes, there is Grief off in the distance when the time is right and not a moment before.

Love is what it is. Accepting and embracing Love make it real. When Love arrives, invite it in. Let it stay as long as it wants to. Don’t speed it up. Don’t slow it down. Let it take you on the journey you need. Love is not an anomaly. It is not abnormal. It is not an exception to Life’s rules. It is not to be denied. Whether Love arrives slowly or quickly, it is meant to be embraced and integrated. Love will forever change you for the better, if only you will let it.

Namaste,  Sheryl

Do Mistakes Really Exist?

“Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

You may have to read this quotation a few times to fully understand it; I sure did.

Let me tell you about my three biggest mistakes: 1) I stayed in an abusive relationship for over four decades; 2) I moved to Hawaii; and 3) I worked too hard to try to keep a mentally-disturbed foster child in my home.

Now, I can’t tell you about my biggest mistakes without telling you about my greatest accomplishments: 1) After discarding my abusive relationship,  I discovered a scared, sweet child inside myself who needed a lot of coaxing from me to come out. I made for myself what many people take for granted: a safe home, surrounded by family and friends who love and respect me in the healthiest sense of those words.  2) My move to Hawaii ended up being my greatest unselfish act, as it allowed my husband and his grown son to reconnect and mend their broken relationship in the months before my husband unexpectedly died. 3) I wanted so badly for my foster daughter to become my adopted daughter that I took her to multiple medical and psychological professionals to figure out why she hadn’t settled into my home. Child Services didn’t want recorded that she had a serious attachment disorder, but because of me, they didn’t have a choice. Because of me, that little girl received the mental health services she needed. She didn’t stay in my home, but because of that mistake, I learned how important it was to provide immediate and gentle care to babies; and I needed that education to become a healthy mom for the babies I would later have.

What got me through all three of those mistakes was the knowledge that a greater power existed. There were times when I cried out in agony to the Creator. There were times when I felt completely abandoned by the Creator. But as I discovered the accomplishments, I could not deny the fingerprints of the Creator on my life.

Thank you, Creator of All, for providing great wisdom in great mistakes.

Namaste, Sheryl

New Year New Changes

New Year, New Changes

Happy New (Gregorian) Year! For many of us in western cultures, this is a time for reflection of the past and planning for the future. We decide to exercise more or diet or organize our living spaces.

I am re-posting a conversation I had with The Creator in October regarding major changes that we decide to make. We do not make changes for things that are working for us, only for things that are broken in some way. Surrender is a powerful way to fully appreciate and accept a broken life, so that we may make meaningful change.

I wish you a year free of fear and worry with health, happiness, and prosperity, and I gently recommend you make this wish to every one in your life!

Namaste, Sheryl

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2014 October 26

Sheryl: Hi, God.

God: Hi, Me… Us. You want to talk about surrender?

Sheryl: Yes, and acceptance. Is there a difference? And can we use them to help ourselves and others?

God: Yes, that’s a lot to talk about. I think of acceptance and surrender along the same lines. Surrender is acceptance with much greater intensity. You see, acceptance of the little things that can’t be changed can give you a happy demeanor. It can make your life easier to live.

Sheryl: When I think of acceptance, I think of accepting people as they are. I think of accepting unchangeable environments. For example, when we were in Hawaii, we had to accept that the cost of comfortable housing was above our budget.

God: Yes, acceptance is for all the little things. Surrender is acceptance for EVERYTHING. Surrender is helpful when there are so many little things in your life you cannot embrace and you cannot change that you don’t know what to do.

That brings me to the difference between accepting and embracing. Accepting a person does not mean embracing her. Accepting a situation does not mean embracing it. Your lives are a compound of many millions of “things.” “Things” include people, physical environment like sights and sounds, personal decisions, and so much more. When the number of “things” that you cannot change or embrace becomes too many, you struggle mightily. You can choose to continue to struggle – not a fix. You can choose to break down – not a fix. You can choose to take out your frustrations on innocent victims – abuse, is what I call this.

Or you can choose to surrender. Surrender means you accept EVERYTHING. It does not mean you embrace it. Surrender requires that YOU change. You change your environment. You change your habits. You change people in your life. You change something. And sometimes, you change everything.

Sheryl: Surrender is an act of desperation.

God: Yes, it is. When you surrender, you say, “Hey, I can’t stand the way things are, but they are what they are. I will have to change myself if I want peace.”

Sheryl: You remind me of surrender in war times and of the work of organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous.

God: Surrender occurs when all other tries have failed. There is beauty in it. There is strength in it. There is peace in it. You lay down your defenses against your environment, so you can accept it and move away from it. That is surrender.

Sheryl: Thank you.

 

spiritual surrender

Spiritual Surrender

2014 October 26

Sheryl: Hi, God.

God: Hi, Me… Us. You want to talk about surrender?

Sheryl: Yes, and acceptance. Is there a difference? And can we use them to help ourselves and others?

God: Yes, that’s a lot to talk about. I think of acceptance and surrender along the same lines. Surrender is acceptance with much greater intensity. You see, acceptance of the little things that can’t be changed can give you a happy demeanor. It can make your life easier to live.

Sheryl: When I think of acceptance, I think of accepting people as they are. I think of accepting unchangeable environments. For example, when we were in Hawaii, we had to accept that the cost of comfortable housing was above our budget.

God: Yes, acceptance is for all the little things. Surrender is acceptance for EVERYTHING. Surrender is helpful when there are so many little things in your life you cannot embrace and you cannot change that you don’t know what to do.

That brings me to the difference between accepting and embracing. Accepting a person does not mean embracing her. Accepting a situation does not mean embracing it. Your lives are a compound of many millions of “things.” “Things” include people, physical environment like sights and sounds, personal decisions, and so much more. When the number of “things” that you cannot change or embrace becomes too many, you struggle mightily. You can choose to continue to struggle – not a fix. You can choose to break down – not a fix. You can choose to take out your frustrations on innocent victims – abuse, is what I call this.

Or you can choose to surrender. Surrender means you accept EVERYTHING. It does not mean you embrace it. Surrender requires that YOU change. You change your environment. You change your habits. You change people in your life. You change something. And sometimes, you change everything.

Sheryl: Surrender is an act of desperation.

God: Yes, it is. When you surrender, you say, “Hey, I can’t stand the way things are, but they are what they are. I will have to change myself if I want peace.”

Sheryl: You remind me of surrender in war times and of the work of organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous.

God: Surrender occurs when all other tries have failed. There is beauty in it. There is strength in it. There is peace in it. You lay down your defenses against your environment, so you can accept it and move away from it. That is surrender.

Sheryl: Thank you.


Namaste, Sheryl