Tag Archives: Sheryl Miller

Love is Grief is Love is…

You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. Thoughts of your dear one consume every moment you’re awake and asleep.

GRIEF comes slowly. It knocks softly on the door, at first. Then, it becomes more insistent as the weeks and months go by, until it hits you in the face: It is Grief, and it is here.

Grief comes quickly. You are walking along, minding your own business. Everything is fine with the world, and then, Bam! There is Grief. It is shocking in its intensity. You try to deny it, but all the signs are there, and it cannot be denied. Sudden Grief can only be accepted, and only by those who are strong enough to handle its bombshell.

Grief affects every single cell in your body. You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat (or you eat more than you should). Thoughts of Grief and of the one you Lost consume every moment while you’re awake and while you sleep.

Grief makes you think you’re going crazy. Your thoughts become irrational. You think of the past and of the future. Even when you want to concentrate on the moment, the enormity of Grief makes it difficult.

Why Grief, you wonder? Why Grief now? Is this really real? This feels too horrible to be true. The intensity of Grief stops you in your tracks. It wants your undivided attention. No longer can you spend time on the mundane. Grief must be dealt with—must be processed—first.

You who can process Grief can move forward into a new, peaceful coexistence with the one you Lost. You who deny Grief are stuck in its grasp. Even though a tranquil life is ahead, it is around a bend in the road. Processing Grief places you at the bend, and that is where you can see your new life. The one you Lost is there and brings beauty to your life. You can breathe and function again. And yes, there is Love off in the distance when the time is right and not a moment before.

Grief is what it is. Accepting and embracing Grief make it real. When Grief arrives, invite it in. Let it stay as long as it wants to. Don’t speed it up. Don’t slow it down. Let it take you on the journey you need. Grief is not an anomaly. It is not abnormal. It is not an exception to Life’s rules. It is not to be denied. Whether Grief arrives slowly or quickly, it is meant to be embraced and integrated. Grief will forever change you for the better, if only you will let it.

 

LOVE comes slowly. It knocks softly on the door, at first. Then, it becomes more insistent as the weeks and months go by, until it hits you in the face: It is Love, and it is here.

Love comes quickly. You are walking along, minding your own business. Everything is fine with the world, and then, Bam! There is Love. It is shocking in its intensity. You try to deny it, but all the signs are there, and it cannot be denied. Sudden Love can only be accepted, and only by those who are strong enough to handle its bombshell.

Love affects every single cell in your body. You can’t breathe. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat (or you eat more than you should). Thoughts of Love and of the one you Found consume every moment while you’re awake and while you sleep.

Love makes you think you’re going crazy. Your thoughts become irrational. You think of the past and of the future. Even when you want to concentrate on the moment, the enormity of Love makes it difficult.

Why Love, you wonder? Why Love now? Is this really real? This feels too wonderful to be true. The intensity of Love stops you in your tracks. It wants your undivided attention. No longer can you spend time on the mundane. Love must be dealt with—must be processed—first.

You who can process Love can move forward into a new, peaceful coexistence with the one you Found. You who deny Love are stuck in its grasp. Even though a tranquil life is ahead, it is around a bend in the road. Processing Love places you at the bend, and that is where you can see your new life. The one you Found is there and brings beauty to your life. You can breathe and function again. And yes, there is Grief off in the distance when the time is right and not a moment before.

Love is what it is. Accepting and embracing Love make it real. When Love arrives, invite it in. Let it stay as long as it wants to. Don’t speed it up. Don’t slow it down. Let it take you on the journey you need. Love is not an anomaly. It is not abnormal. It is not an exception to Life’s rules. It is not to be denied. Whether Love arrives slowly or quickly, it is meant to be embraced and integrated. Love will forever change you for the better, if only you will let it.

Namaste,  Sheryl

The Middle Path

The Middle Path

I woke up early today for a Talk with The Creator…


 

Sheryl: Hey, God…

God: Hi, Beautiful You. (*hug*) Let’s talk about body, mind and spirit. Humans are a bit complex in their make-up and yet simple when it comes to caring for themselves.

Sheryl: Are you talking about the maintenance of ourselves or about self-love or something else?

God: I’m talking about the things it takes to make a human healthy in body, mind and spirit. These three areas cannot be divided from each other, and they all work together. In many cases, you guys neglect one of them and then your entire body–your entire life, if you will–suffers.

The Buddha was on the right path with the middle path. This is the concept that moderation and upkeep of body, mind and spirit lead to a healthy life. By healthy, I don’t just mean being a fine physical specimen. I also mean that one’s spirit is carefree and happy and that one’s mind is active and engaged.

Sleep, nutritious food, exercise, and intimacy are all needed to take care of the body.Doing work you love at every age, whether it’s raising children, crunching numbers or playing card games, nourishes your mind. Taking care of the little child inside you by being aware of his/her needs nourishes your spirit.

Sheryl: You do make it sound simple.

God: Indeed, it is. But life as a human is full of challenges. You have physical ailments. You have other people’s opinions  of how you should live. You have your own upbringings, so the human parents you chose have a great influence as to how you treat yourself. It’s all reversible, of course, but some things are easier to reverse than others.

Awareness is key and is the first step. Just notice if you are or are not sleeping well, eating well, etc. Notice if your mind is or isn’t usually engaged. And notice if your spirit seems weak and tired or happy and loved. Then ask yourself, “What can I do to make this better?” Listen. The answers are with you, inside you.

Sheryl: Thank you, I will pass this message along. And use it on myself, too.


Namaste, Sheryl

What is it to Be Real?

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams


 

According to Margery Williams, it is difficult to be Real. Those who damage easily or are high maintenance don’t often become Real. It is those who have been subjected to the rough play of life, who can get knocked around a bit without falling apart, who become Real. It’s when life REALLY loves you that you become Real.

What does it look like when life REALLY loves us? Meaningful risks resulting in great rewards…and in great losses, too. Caring for someone so deeply that we will trade everything we have to keep them with us…and having them leave. Giving a cause our last bit of energy because we know it’s deserving…and having it not be enough.

When we invite life to REALLY love us, we become shabby and war-torn. We know the sweetness of victory, as well as the agony of defeat. Maybe the Skin Horse could have admitted that Real people do mind getting hurt, it’s just the risk of missing out on love and adventure is worth the pain and agony that may come along with it. Sure, we may appear ugly to the majority of the fragile, high-maintenance people. To the Real people, we cannot be ugly.

The Creator of All loves and respects each of us equally in our journeys through this life. Rest assured, if you find yourself considered ugly by people because you became Real, your Creator will never see you as ugly.

Who, do you think, is more Real than The Creator of All?

Namaste,  Sheryl

happiness

Happiness is a Choice

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

– Groucho Marx (1895-1997)

My happiest days have been the ones on which I decided I would be happy. This life on Earth that we’ve all chosen is one of miscues, misunderstandings and misbehaviors. No one reaches the age of 35 (in my humble opinion) without some seriously horrible event or circumstance occurring in his/her life. There is no logic to being cheerful after this age, because we all have legitimate excuses to groan and complain.

And yet, choosing sadness brings more sadness which eventually brings depression.  I’m not saying that life doesn’t deal us good reasons to seek professional help for trauma, believe me. What I’m saying is that if an individual complains about her/his life’s injury, it can be selfish. It can also keep that person from healing, because complaining often feels like a solution to a complaint, when it’s really not.

Saying, “I’m great,” to someone who asks, “How are you?” is a powerful, first step in choosing happiness.

Namaste, Sheryl

You Are a Creator

You are a Creator

“I feel the smile of  God as I create.
It’s like we are colleagues, working side by side
to manifest our ideas into objects.
Whether I am home creating vibrant children or
in my office, creating stories or ideas for clients,
God is my co-worker, and I am on his  team.”

— Sheryl Miller

Have  you had this feeling lately? Can’t it be a challenge to see your own contributions sometimes? I left a job once, because I didn’t feel like I was doing enough for the world through that job. I looked for meaning and didn’t find it. In hindsight, the job was loaded with contributions, and my work was important to thousands of people.

Because I’ve gained a larger world view through the experience of living, now it is easier for me to see the effects my life has on other people’s lives. It’s like rain falling on a pond; each water drop creates a ripple that extends in all directions. I cannot live without having such an effect and without others affecting my life, too.

As I offer, with intention, my conversations with The Creator of All and my other creations to the world, it helps me to appreciate the creations of others: my reliable car, the Chagall painting in my bedroom, my favorite TV shows, the kind thoughts of my husband, the spontaneous dancing of my daughter, and the active imagination of my little son.

You are a Creator, but if you are having trouble recognizing it, why not intentionally create something today? It could be as simple as a doodle on a piece of paper or as sophisticated as a rebuilt motorcycle engine.

Bring us your creativity. Please! We need you.

Namaste,  Sheryl

The Creator is Bored

Sheryl: Hey, God!

God: Hey, me. (hug)

Sheryl: I was at a loss as to what to write today, so I thought I’d do what we do best:  just have a conversation and write it down. Here’s an open forum for you!

God: Okay. You know I’m never at a loss for words.

Sheryl: Indeed. So, I have a question for you. We are made in your image, right?

God: Yes. Actually in one of my many images. It’s like the story of the blind men with the elephant. Each man thought he understood what he was contacting based on touching one small part of the elephant. All were right in understanding the texture of what they touched, and all were wrong guessing they knew the whole beast. I am the elephant. Humanity is a big group of blind men.

Sheryl: So that goes to the second part of my question. My personality makes it easy to meditate, and go deeply to speak with you. However, I struggle with loud places and prefer intimate conversations to those at parties. And I get tired after a day with lots of people interaction. If you are like that, too, then don’t you wear out with so many people contacting you?

God: Great question, sad answer. You see I have the capacity to speak with billions of people. All while governing billions of processes and creating billions of manifestations. I use the word “billions,” because it’s a number you can see in your head. The real number is billions to the billionth power. I am the largest of the supercomputers, and the second place computer is light years behind me.

The sad part of the answer is that I am utterly underutilized. While I could speak with billions of people simultaneously, there are only millions trying to reach me. The manifestations that I am asked to co-create are so small, too. So, I’m a little bored.

I might be tired at the end of my “day,” like you, if I were busier.

Sheryl: So, we need more of us reaching you with bigger dreams?

God: Exactly!! How about instead of praying, “God, please help me get through my day” (a common one), pray “God, help me be a leader in my community” or “God, make my dream of ground-breaking research a reality.” Pray bigger. You don’t need me to help you get through your day. A clock will do that. But putting together people and resources out of your reach to help you realize a dream — that you need me for! And I want to help.

So reach out to me. Talk to me. And give me your best talents and biggest dreams.

Sheryl: Thank you!


 

Namaste, Sheryl

Superstars, Part Two

This is the second half of a two-part blog. If you’d like to read (or re-read) the first half, please click here.

To summarize, The Creator is speaking about the need for us to rise to the top of our respective fields, in the work that fits us. I have just asked Her/Him the question, “What can we do to make this happen?”


 

God: Great question! (Yes, I did inspire that. I wanted you to ask.)

Sheryl: Funny, funny!

God: There are three steps.

First, you question yourself. Question what am I good at? What makes me excited? What comes naturally and easily for me? Then, listen to all the answers. Discounting or tossing out any answers means you are throwing out the possibility of discovering your greatest potential.

Second, be ready for these answers to change as you change. Your life is one of constant change, from the moment your body is conceived to the moment your body dies. When life seems to be at a stalemate, when it is in neutral, or when you are up against a wall or facing serious troubles, go back to the first step. Listen to the answers, again. Make a plan to transition from where you are in your life to where you need to be in your life.

Third, take all the limits off yourself. Imagine yourself being the best ________ (insert your talent) that there is. Expect that the level you will achieve in reaching your potential is the highest possible level. When your mind wants to present you with an excuse why you won’t get there, then stop, decide how that excuse (or fear) is surmountable or unfounded.

Sheryl: This would work with our children, too.

God: Yes, exactly! Help them to go through these steps. Help them to imagine being the best singers, doctors, dancers and teachers that they can be. As they change, give them full permission to change their destinies. A little girl (like yours) can dream of being a dancer but as she grows, she finds she wants to be something different.

Few of us who become our best selves have a childhood story of fighting against all odds to achieve it. Most successful people are the ones whose families supported them in their greatest dreams, even when the world thought they were weird or lost.

So, yes, support your children’s dreams. Show them how you believe, so they can believe, too.


 

That is the end of Chapter 3. I can tell my editor will have a few changes, but no doubt the message of The Creator is clear!

We are given a metaphorical garden patch by The Creator. Tending it to help it yield a bountiful harvest is a way to show gratitude to The Creator, a testament to our personal power of creation and a gift to feed and inspire those around us.

Namaste, Sheryl

superstars

Superstars, Part One

Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Talking With The Creator, Book One. This is the first half of Chapter 3, “The Price of Leadership.” I will blog the second half of the chapter tomorrow. Enjoy!

Namaste, Sheryl


Chapter 3, “The Price of Leadership”

God: It’s lonely at the top, but that never bothered me.

It’s lonely for humans when they pursue their true, intended destinies. They have to break a lot of ties. They have to go (often) against what their families want and expect of them. Sometimes, they have to leave friends they have known well.

I would like to say that a life lived to one’s fullest potential is overflowing with joy, but I will be honest: There is a degree of loneliness that goes along with it.

I want you to think of some of the most incredible people now or in history.

Sheryl: There’s Einstein, Moses, Jesus, the Buddha, Mother Theresa, and Maria Montessori. Plus, I can think of sports figures like Michael Jordan and business people like Sam Walton. I know this book is for people of all backgrounds, but my imagination is  kind of limited to American history and Western religions.

God: Not to worry, everyone who reads this will use their imaginations to find their own heroes and heroines who depict people who lived to their fullest potential.

My point is, think of the lives of these people. Most were considered weird, strange and anomalies at some point or other. Most of them, if they reached fame in their lifetime, had serious doubts as to whom their friends really were. Who wanted to be in their company just to get a picture or autograph and who was really interested in making the investment to be a friend? Many are considered leaders and worshipped. It’s a challenging life.

Sheryl: You’ve said that this is what they wanted. They brought it into their lives.

God: Yes, and the world is better for that. Becoming a superstar in any realm is a person’s invitation and acceptance of everything that comes with it.

What is funny is that I would find it most satisfying if everyone — well, if most people, anyway — would reach their fullest potential. Then, there would be a huge population of superstars who could all hang out together and appreciate each other’s amazing talents and gifts.

Sheryl: So, I could be at the park with the other moms and kids, and someone would say to me,  “Hi, I heard you have a book signing soon.” And I would say, “Yes, and I read that you’re a guest lecturer at the local university.”

God: Right! And pretty soon, we’d have a lot fewer anomalies, and a lot more people who fit in with each other because they were superstars together. They would be in different fields or specialties, of course, but their striving to be their best selves and developing their unique talents would bind them together.

It wouldn’t be so lonely at the top, would it?

Sheryl: No, it wouldn’t. With more people being true to themselves, there would be more happiness and satisfaction. How cool is that? (smiling)

What can we do to make this happen?


 

Yes, The Creator gives me an answer! Come back tomorrow to read it!

 

spiritual surrender

Spiritual Surrender

2014 October 26

Sheryl: Hi, God.

God: Hi, Me… Us. You want to talk about surrender?

Sheryl: Yes, and acceptance. Is there a difference? And can we use them to help ourselves and others?

God: Yes, that’s a lot to talk about. I think of acceptance and surrender along the same lines. Surrender is acceptance with much greater intensity. You see, acceptance of the little things that can’t be changed can give you a happy demeanor. It can make your life easier to live.

Sheryl: When I think of acceptance, I think of accepting people as they are. I think of accepting unchangeable environments. For example, when we were in Hawaii, we had to accept that the cost of comfortable housing was above our budget.

God: Yes, acceptance is for all the little things. Surrender is acceptance for EVERYTHING. Surrender is helpful when there are so many little things in your life you cannot embrace and you cannot change that you don’t know what to do.

That brings me to the difference between accepting and embracing. Accepting a person does not mean embracing her. Accepting a situation does not mean embracing it. Your lives are a compound of many millions of “things.” “Things” include people, physical environment like sights and sounds, personal decisions, and so much more. When the number of “things” that you cannot change or embrace becomes too many, you struggle mightily. You can choose to continue to struggle – not a fix. You can choose to break down – not a fix. You can choose to take out your frustrations on innocent victims – abuse, is what I call this.

Or you can choose to surrender. Surrender means you accept EVERYTHING. It does not mean you embrace it. Surrender requires that YOU change. You change your environment. You change your habits. You change people in your life. You change something. And sometimes, you change everything.

Sheryl: Surrender is an act of desperation.

God: Yes, it is. When you surrender, you say, “Hey, I can’t stand the way things are, but they are what they are. I will have to change myself if I want peace.”

Sheryl: You remind me of surrender in war times and of the work of organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous.

God: Surrender occurs when all other tries have failed. There is beauty in it. There is strength in it. There is peace in it. You lay down your defenses against your environment, so you can accept it and move away from it. That is surrender.

Sheryl: Thank you.


Namaste, Sheryl

The Spiritual Spa

The Spiritual Spa

“There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more.”

– Lord Byron (1788-1824)

Today, I went to the spa. This wasn’t the kind of spa you normally think about, with masseuses, New Age music or wheatgrass drinks. There was no one to offer a manicure or a pedicure. There were no mud baths.

No, today, I visited The Sacred Garden of Maliko for the first time. I was met first by Bodhi, a wonderfully huge dog, who is the official greeter and  mascot. Then, I met Eve, the owner, and Joey. The Sacred Garden is a spa, not for the body, but for the soul. After a short introduction to the grounds, I made my way to the outside labyrinth. At once, I felt the energies of peace and bliss.

I walked the outside labyrinth and spoke with The Creator with so many questions:  You directed me to come to Maui, but the environment is so demanding of my body. Am I really supposed to be here? How am I supposed to receive and share my spiritual gifts when my body can hardly function? I am desperate! I need what I don’t have. I need help, Your help. (I remembered what I read from The Circle Maker and I prayed…) God, I need a comfortable home here in Upcountry Maui. I cannot bring it to myself in natural time, and so I ask you and thank you for bringing it.

As I reached one edge of the labyrinth, I stepped off the path and over rocks to a currently-dry river bed. I found a large rock in the shade, sat on it cross-legged and felt the cool wind on my face. (The picture above is similar to the scenery around me.) Minutes and half hours passed as I bathed in the soothing breezes and simple sounds of the jungle. The outside stimulations that had overwhelmed my senses in past weeks were absent here. I didn’t have to wish my ears couldn’t hear or my eyes couldn’t see or my skin and intuitions couldn’t feel. I could allow my senses to function as they do and be glad to be alive, too.

I thank The Creator for directing me to The Sacred Garden today. And I offer my story to you. I believe The Creator is bringing everything my family and I need to be comfortable on Maui, and I can’t wait to tell you how it unfolds.

Namaste,  Sheryl