Tag Archives: respect

giving

Giving – Our Natural State

“We may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving.”  — Bernard Meltzer (1916 – 1998)

Quotations about giving and love, like this one above, bewildered me for most of my life. I didn’t understand them. I was raised to believe that I might be worthy of love, if I fulfilled some condition. The process of giving was akin to a currency system. Giving meant I might receive something. Receiving meant I would give up something. In my house, we kept score, and giving for no reason or purpose was unthinkable. My family was the embodiment of the first phrase of Meltzer’s quotation.

I had no idea that this thinking was unhealthy and that I was broken. But the Creator of All,  in His/Her wisdom, created and then recreated troublesome scenarios in my life so I could question, “Why is this happening again?” I found people to help me. Wayne Dyer’s work was a start. Deepak Chopra’s books were life-changing. Brene Brown leaves me speechless. Two counselors and several social  media communities provided the insight I needed. And now, ten years along this journey, I am profoundly different.

Giving with love and without conditions is our natural inclination.  It is one important reason why we are here. Please, pause a moment and ask your soul if this is true.

Raise your hand if asking this question put a smile on your face and brought peace to your heart. (Wow, that’s a lot of hands!) Can you give without expectations or conditions? If yes, then continue to do so as much as you can. Every act of giving, no matter how large or small, brings peace to the world. If no, then practice; it will come naturally after a while. You can start little: slip money into the tip jar when the cashier turns his head or give more credit to someone else than yourself on a group project.

Finally, let’s talk about giving in, which I think is one of the most beautiful ways of giving with love. Giving in is about unconditional acceptance of differences in people, in their ideals, and in their ideas. Loving people so much that you will not argue with them is an expression of respect, and it recognizes their individual importance in our world.

I apologize for rambling on. It has been a while since I blogged, so my writing is a little loose. But hang in there with me; it will get better. With love, I give you my best, and I wish you peace and success on your journey.

Namaste, Sheryl

A Trusted Friend

Has this ever happened to you?… You meet someone you like. You get to know her. You have a lot of interests in common, and you start hanging out together. You learn about him, and he learns about you. And when things are going so well that you are sure you can pour your entire heart out to this person, you find out that you have a fundamental difference with her. Maybe it’s a difference in politics or his stance on abortion.
 
This is so disappointing, right?
 
Unless… Unless, you can know this is to be expected. Always! 
 
Yes, you will find lots of people who will support and love you and with whom you can make fun and wonderful memories. And yes, you will have at least one fundamental difference with every one of them. Even your life partners! Especially your children!
 
There is but one “person” with whom you have every single thing in common, with whom you will never find a fundamental difference. The Creator of All created you in Her/His image, and for that reason alone, you will easily be able to discuss any and all subjects with Her/Him.
 
Aren’t you glad you’re one of the millions of people who has a direct connection with The Creator of All? I am!
 
Namaste,
   Sheryl

Love of Self

Good day, friends. On Facebook, I am a member of a discussion group for the author Anita Moorjani. One of the other members posted this quotation from Charlie Chaplin, and it struck me so profoundly that I had to share it with you:

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY.”
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT.”


As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY.”


As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE.”


As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY.”


As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF.”


As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY.”


As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT.”


As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART.”


We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE!”
— Sir Charles Chaplin (1889-1977)

Namaste,  Sheryl

Superstars, Part Two

This is the second half of a two-part blog. If you’d like to read (or re-read) the first half, please click here.

To summarize, The Creator is speaking about the need for us to rise to the top of our respective fields, in the work that fits us. I have just asked Her/Him the question, “What can we do to make this happen?”


 

God: Great question! (Yes, I did inspire that. I wanted you to ask.)

Sheryl: Funny, funny!

God: There are three steps.

First, you question yourself. Question what am I good at? What makes me excited? What comes naturally and easily for me? Then, listen to all the answers. Discounting or tossing out any answers means you are throwing out the possibility of discovering your greatest potential.

Second, be ready for these answers to change as you change. Your life is one of constant change, from the moment your body is conceived to the moment your body dies. When life seems to be at a stalemate, when it is in neutral, or when you are up against a wall or facing serious troubles, go back to the first step. Listen to the answers, again. Make a plan to transition from where you are in your life to where you need to be in your life.

Third, take all the limits off yourself. Imagine yourself being the best ________ (insert your talent) that there is. Expect that the level you will achieve in reaching your potential is the highest possible level. When your mind wants to present you with an excuse why you won’t get there, then stop, decide how that excuse (or fear) is surmountable or unfounded.

Sheryl: This would work with our children, too.

God: Yes, exactly! Help them to go through these steps. Help them to imagine being the best singers, doctors, dancers and teachers that they can be. As they change, give them full permission to change their destinies. A little girl (like yours) can dream of being a dancer but as she grows, she finds she wants to be something different.

Few of us who become our best selves have a childhood story of fighting against all odds to achieve it. Most successful people are the ones whose families supported them in their greatest dreams, even when the world thought they were weird or lost.

So, yes, support your children’s dreams. Show them how you believe, so they can believe, too.


 

That is the end of Chapter 3. I can tell my editor will have a few changes, but no doubt the message of The Creator is clear!

We are given a metaphorical garden patch by The Creator. Tending it to help it yield a bountiful harvest is a way to show gratitude to The Creator, a testament to our personal power of creation and a gift to feed and inspire those around us.

Namaste, Sheryl

superstars

Superstars, Part One

Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Talking With The Creator, Book One. This is the first half of Chapter 3, “The Price of Leadership.” I will blog the second half of the chapter tomorrow. Enjoy!

Namaste, Sheryl


Chapter 3, “The Price of Leadership”

God: It’s lonely at the top, but that never bothered me.

It’s lonely for humans when they pursue their true, intended destinies. They have to break a lot of ties. They have to go (often) against what their families want and expect of them. Sometimes, they have to leave friends they have known well.

I would like to say that a life lived to one’s fullest potential is overflowing with joy, but I will be honest: There is a degree of loneliness that goes along with it.

I want you to think of some of the most incredible people now or in history.

Sheryl: There’s Einstein, Moses, Jesus, the Buddha, Mother Theresa, and Maria Montessori. Plus, I can think of sports figures like Michael Jordan and business people like Sam Walton. I know this book is for people of all backgrounds, but my imagination is  kind of limited to American history and Western religions.

God: Not to worry, everyone who reads this will use their imaginations to find their own heroes and heroines who depict people who lived to their fullest potential.

My point is, think of the lives of these people. Most were considered weird, strange and anomalies at some point or other. Most of them, if they reached fame in their lifetime, had serious doubts as to whom their friends really were. Who wanted to be in their company just to get a picture or autograph and who was really interested in making the investment to be a friend? Many are considered leaders and worshipped. It’s a challenging life.

Sheryl: You’ve said that this is what they wanted. They brought it into their lives.

God: Yes, and the world is better for that. Becoming a superstar in any realm is a person’s invitation and acceptance of everything that comes with it.

What is funny is that I would find it most satisfying if everyone — well, if most people, anyway — would reach their fullest potential. Then, there would be a huge population of superstars who could all hang out together and appreciate each other’s amazing talents and gifts.

Sheryl: So, I could be at the park with the other moms and kids, and someone would say to me,  “Hi, I heard you have a book signing soon.” And I would say, “Yes, and I read that you’re a guest lecturer at the local university.”

God: Right! And pretty soon, we’d have a lot fewer anomalies, and a lot more people who fit in with each other because they were superstars together. They would be in different fields or specialties, of course, but their striving to be their best selves and developing their unique talents would bind them together.

It wouldn’t be so lonely at the top, would it?

Sheryl: No, it wouldn’t. With more people being true to themselves, there would be more happiness and satisfaction. How cool is that? (smiling)

What can we do to make this happen?


 

Yes, The Creator gives me an answer! Come back tomorrow to read it!

 

unobstructed view of god

Unobstructed View of God

“Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.”

– Stephen Hawking (1942 -)

Do stars twinkle? Does our sun twinkle? Does it flash on and off intermittently, so that a life form on another planet millions of light-years away sees it twinkling?

No, no, and no. When we are able to get an unobstructed view of stars, they all become steady points of light. What causes us to not be able to see a star clearly is the obstruction — the atmosphere of the Earth as it is changing above and around us. Astronomers call this scintillation.

I bring you this astronomy lesson as an example of how the physical and spiritual worlds are interconnected. I ask you, does God twinkle? Does She/He appear to flash on and off intermittently? I would have to say yes, myself. Sometimes, I am certain God is right with me, but other times, I wonder where She/He is.

My guess is that The Creator of All is like scintillation. When we can establish an unobstructed connection with Him/Her, we can better understand what She/He is really like and how we can best get along with each other.

Namaste,  Sheryl

You Are Valuable

“You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do what you have done, but simply because you are.” – Max Lucado (1955 -)

“Unconditional love is our birthright, not judgment or condemnation, and there’s nothing we need to earn it. This is simply who and what we are.” – Anita Moorjani (1959 -)

Yes, I sit here, and I write about being able to talk with The Creator of All, with the Almighty, with the Essence who is the source of everything. Today, I wonder, how many of us feel inadequate to speak with Him/Her? How many of us feel that we are not good enough, that we haven’t achieved enough, or that we just don’t deserve what The Creator has to share with us?

It’s a huge problem! Not only does it impact our ability to connect with God, but it also means we walk around life feeling people need to do something in order to be special. Yes, you see, when I feel like I haven’t earned value, then I can only judge others based on how much I value I think they have earned.

Max Lucado says, “You are valuable because you exist.” Not because of your talents. Not because of your work schedule. Not because of your bank account. Not because of your children or partner.

Anita Moorjani believes, “Unconditional love should be yours, because you exist.” Unconditional love has to come only from one source to be authentic, and that source is yourself. It can come from more than one source, to be sure, but it must come from one’s self at the least.

Seeing yourself as important, regardless of anything else, and giving yourself unconditional love and acceptance brings you closer to The Creator and to all The Creator wants to bring to you.

Namaste, Sheryl

 

 

Hold on Loosely

You see it all around you
Good loving gone bad
And usually it’s too late when you
Realize what you had

And my mind goes back
To a girl I left some years ago
Who told me

“Just hold on loosely but don’t let go
If you cling too tightly,
You’re gonna lose control.”

– from “Hold On Loosely,” by Richard Barnes, Jeffrey Carlisi and James Peterik


Do you have any songs that speak to you spiritually? I do! And I’m not just talking about religious songs or music for meditation. I’m thinking about songs in our every day lives. I listen to “Celebrate You” when I want to be excited about my uniqueness. I listen to “Standing Outside the Fire” when I want to appreciate how compelled I am to take chances.

“Hold on Loosely” reminds me to recognize when I become attached to something or someone outside myself. On one hand, being attached to and heavily relying on The Creator inside us are extremely healthy. Daily meditation and quiet are addictions that can keep us happy and successful our whole lives.

On the other hand, thinking a particular person or situation is necessary for happiness is unhealthy. That’s not to say we can’t manifest. But manifesting is having an idea for a situation, forming the idea, envisioning it, thanking God for bringing it, and then letting it go with the confidence that it is coming. Yes, that is holding on loosely!

When we have an idea in our minds that life should be a very particular way, then we bring negativity:

  • We try to control what is out of our control
  • We are unable to see other possibilities which will bring the same effect
  • Worry, concern and scheming take us out of the present moment, and…
  • The present moment holds abundant lessons and blessings that we are unable to realize

At the opposite end of this situation are times when others try to hold tightly onto us. That stifling feeling is also negative, right? So, let’s do our part to cut down on negativity in the world by refusing to cooperate with those who do not know how to hold on loosely. We may be able to pry someone loose from us in a gentle way, or we may have to shake them off firmly and then run in the opposite direction.

Enjoy the present moment today. Manifest your dreams, and then Hold On Loosely!

Namaste, Sheryl

Part 1 of 5 – Except-ance

 “except: transitive verb: to take or leave out from a number or a whole: exclude” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Good Monday to you! This week I thought I’d do something different: a five part series which addresses how we view our lives, with special emphasis on the people in our  lives. The first three blogs will explore except-ance, endure-ance, and accept-ance. (Intrigued?) The final two will look at how these three ideas work with each other and discuss how The Creator fits in.

One way to view people, places and things is by except-ance, which is to say, by exclusion. This means we consider and invite into our lives only people and things meeting particular criteria. For some who view by except-ance, this can be full-blown bigotry, in the form of racism, sexism, age-ism, and more. But for most who view life this way, it is like living life in a cardboard box which is decorated on the inside with a pre-determined (though fantasy) existence. Cut into the cardboard box is a peephole, and whenever a person or situation comes into view of the peephole, thus conforming to our fantasy existence, we pay attention to it. Otherwise, it is excepted, or excluded.

Pro’s of Except-ance:

  1. It doesn’t require a lot of brain power to except someone who does not match inclusion criteria.
  2. It makes us feel very safe. Anything that could potentially disturb us is excepted.
  3. Except-ors often deal with past hurt, and living by except-ance doesn’t require us to face our problems or fix ourselves which can be very scary.

Con’s of Except-ance:

  1. Diversity among friends is lost.
  2. Humor and happiness cannot survive this life choice, because we must be vigilant in except-ance.
  3. Spontaneity is also unavailable in except-ance.
  4. It can be depressing not to see many solutions to life’s problems. (It’s not because they’re not there; it’s because they so rarely come into sight of the peephole of our cardboard boxes.

Please share your comments! Tomorrow, I’ll blog about enduring people and life.

Namaste, Sheryl

People Are Nice

“‘Atticus, he was real nice.’

‘Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.'”

– Harper Lee (1926 -), To Kill A Mockingbird

How many times do we miss getting to know someone, because we don’t take the time to really see them, as Atticus Finch says?

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”

I don’t know about you, but I had this scenario replaying in my life for years. Every now and then, The Creator would put into my life someone that rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t like I wanted to have a fight with her/him, but I did feel irritable when I had to come into contact with her/him. About five years ago, it happened again. She was a mom of one of my daughter’s friends who made me want to walk the other way when I saw her coming. This time, I decided to handle it differently. I went out of my way to look for what I liked about her. I purposely  struck up conversations with her so that I could get to know her  better.

It worked! Indeed, I found many reasons to like her. Now, we chat easily and are glad to see each other whenever our paths cross at the grocery store or at kid activities.

I am grateful for learning this lesson, and to know that just about everyone I meet is nice, as long as I take the time to really see them.

Namaste, Sheryl