Tag Archives: positive thinking

Do Mistakes Really Exist?

“Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

You may have to read this quotation a few times to fully understand it; I sure did.

Let me tell you about my three biggest mistakes: 1) I stayed in an abusive relationship for over four decades; 2) I moved to Hawaii; and 3) I worked too hard to try to keep a mentally-disturbed foster child in my home.

Now, I can’t tell you about my biggest mistakes without telling you about my greatest accomplishments: 1) After discarding my abusive relationship,  I discovered a scared, sweet child inside myself who needed a lot of coaxing from me to come out. I made for myself what many people take for granted: a safe home, surrounded by family and friends who love and respect me in the healthiest sense of those words.  2) My move to Hawaii ended up being my greatest unselfish act, as it allowed my husband and his grown son to reconnect and mend their broken relationship in the months before my husband unexpectedly died. 3) I wanted so badly for my foster daughter to become my adopted daughter that I took her to multiple medical and psychological professionals to figure out why she hadn’t settled into my home. Child Services didn’t want recorded that she had a serious attachment disorder, but because of me, they didn’t have a choice. Because of me, that little girl received the mental health services she needed. She didn’t stay in my home, but because of that mistake, I learned how important it was to provide immediate and gentle care to babies; and I needed that education to become a healthy mom for the babies I would later have.

What got me through all three of those mistakes was the knowledge that a greater power existed. There were times when I cried out in agony to the Creator. There were times when I felt completely abandoned by the Creator. But as I discovered the accomplishments, I could not deny the fingerprints of the Creator on my life.

Thank you, Creator of All, for providing great wisdom in great mistakes.

Namaste, Sheryl

A Trusted Friend

Has this ever happened to you?… You meet someone you like. You get to know her. You have a lot of interests in common, and you start hanging out together. You learn about him, and he learns about you. And when things are going so well that you are sure you can pour your entire heart out to this person, you find out that you have a fundamental difference with her. Maybe it’s a difference in politics or his stance on abortion.
 
This is so disappointing, right?
 
Unless… Unless, you can know this is to be expected. Always! 
 
Yes, you will find lots of people who will support and love you and with whom you can make fun and wonderful memories. And yes, you will have at least one fundamental difference with every one of them. Even your life partners! Especially your children!
 
There is but one “person” with whom you have every single thing in common, with whom you will never find a fundamental difference. The Creator of All created you in Her/His image, and for that reason alone, you will easily be able to discuss any and all subjects with Her/Him.
 
Aren’t you glad you’re one of the millions of people who has a direct connection with The Creator of All? I am!
 
Namaste,
   Sheryl

What is it to Be Real?

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams


 

According to Margery Williams, it is difficult to be Real. Those who damage easily or are high maintenance don’t often become Real. It is those who have been subjected to the rough play of life, who can get knocked around a bit without falling apart, who become Real. It’s when life REALLY loves you that you become Real.

What does it look like when life REALLY loves us? Meaningful risks resulting in great rewards…and in great losses, too. Caring for someone so deeply that we will trade everything we have to keep them with us…and having them leave. Giving a cause our last bit of energy because we know it’s deserving…and having it not be enough.

When we invite life to REALLY love us, we become shabby and war-torn. We know the sweetness of victory, as well as the agony of defeat. Maybe the Skin Horse could have admitted that Real people do mind getting hurt, it’s just the risk of missing out on love and adventure is worth the pain and agony that may come along with it. Sure, we may appear ugly to the majority of the fragile, high-maintenance people. To the Real people, we cannot be ugly.

The Creator of All loves and respects each of us equally in our journeys through this life. Rest assured, if you find yourself considered ugly by people because you became Real, your Creator will never see you as ugly.

Who, do you think, is more Real than The Creator of All?

Namaste,  Sheryl

actions over words

Actions over Words

“Students and teachers, and all others,
Who read the mere words of ponderous books, know nothing,
But only  waste their time in vain pursuit of words;
He who acts righteously is wise.”
– Traditional Hindu Principle

The teaching of using actions over words comes not only from Hinduism but permeates through every culture and religious tradition. Not just a popular saying, we see it in action daily. How many parents tell their children one thing and set a different example through their actions? Then, the parents are confused or angry when the kids do what they DO, instead of what they SAY.

It turns out that we rarely listen only to a person’s spoken words. Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, conducted several studies on nonverbal communication. He found that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc). How many times have you listened to a speaker at a conference only to tune them in or out based on nonverbal cues? Me, too!

The question is, what does this have to do with Talking with The Creator of All?

First, when we tune into The Creator, we can hear Her/His words but that’s not all. We can also hear Her/His demeanor; it may be sympathetic, light-hearted or even serious. I had one day when every little thing was going haywire — nothing terrible, just everything went wrong. I tuned into God and heard uproarious laughter. I was the Divine’s butt of the joke for the day!

Second, we look at The Creator’s actions. When we pay attention, we can see The Creator creating what we wish and work for. We can see The Creator putting people in our way for so many reasons: To help us accomplish our goals; To keep us from straying from a path; To teach us a lesson and many more.

Finally, we see how The Creator works in other’s lives. There’s nothing like being inspired by a story of a person with a dream 100 times greater than her making her hopes a reality. And in contrast, how many times do we see people who complain about their illnesses or dramas only manifesting more of the same?

When you next talk with The Creator, listen for Her/His personality. I find The Creator’s range of nonverbal expressions to be wide. How about you?

Namaste, Sheryl

No News is Good News

“There is a reason why we never feel good after watching the 6 o’clock news:  because it’s filled with fear-ladened propaganda to keep us living in that vibration, which eventually manifests itself somewhere throughout our day or evening.”

– Gregg Prescott, in5d.com

Thoughts are energy. Sad, scary, depressing, fearful and negative thoughts bring low energy. Happy, positive, exciting, hopeful and uplifting thoughts bring high energy.

So, the question is, which energy do you want in your life? If you would prefer low energy, to move around your life with a sense of hopelessness and despair, then a sure solution is to tune your televisions and radios to a news channel. It doesn’t matter which news channel, either. It could be a conservative, liberal, neutral, faith-based or government news station. The results will be the same.

If you prefer high energy, to feel joyful and hopeful, a sure solution is to send thoughts of lovingkindness first to yourself and then to everyone else. In one of my favorite songs, China Anne McClain sings, “I am, you are, we are… exceptional.” Whenever I send that unspoken thought to people I meet, I always, always get a smile and a connection.

You may be wondering if not keeping up with the news will make you miss out on something. In short, no. If it’s news that will truly affect you, you will hear it from a friend or neighbor. If you feel you will show up to the water cooler chat uneducated, then show up as the student of the news instead of as the teacher. (Uneducated you says, “George, what do you think is important about the decline in cranberry production?”) Or even better, spend your news channel time studying your industry and its trends and turn that frown into a promotion!

Namaste, Sheryl

 

Superstars, Part Two

This is the second half of a two-part blog. If you’d like to read (or re-read) the first half, please click here.

To summarize, The Creator is speaking about the need for us to rise to the top of our respective fields, in the work that fits us. I have just asked Her/Him the question, “What can we do to make this happen?”


 

God: Great question! (Yes, I did inspire that. I wanted you to ask.)

Sheryl: Funny, funny!

God: There are three steps.

First, you question yourself. Question what am I good at? What makes me excited? What comes naturally and easily for me? Then, listen to all the answers. Discounting or tossing out any answers means you are throwing out the possibility of discovering your greatest potential.

Second, be ready for these answers to change as you change. Your life is one of constant change, from the moment your body is conceived to the moment your body dies. When life seems to be at a stalemate, when it is in neutral, or when you are up against a wall or facing serious troubles, go back to the first step. Listen to the answers, again. Make a plan to transition from where you are in your life to where you need to be in your life.

Third, take all the limits off yourself. Imagine yourself being the best ________ (insert your talent) that there is. Expect that the level you will achieve in reaching your potential is the highest possible level. When your mind wants to present you with an excuse why you won’t get there, then stop, decide how that excuse (or fear) is surmountable or unfounded.

Sheryl: This would work with our children, too.

God: Yes, exactly! Help them to go through these steps. Help them to imagine being the best singers, doctors, dancers and teachers that they can be. As they change, give them full permission to change their destinies. A little girl (like yours) can dream of being a dancer but as she grows, she finds she wants to be something different.

Few of us who become our best selves have a childhood story of fighting against all odds to achieve it. Most successful people are the ones whose families supported them in their greatest dreams, even when the world thought they were weird or lost.

So, yes, support your children’s dreams. Show them how you believe, so they can believe, too.


 

That is the end of Chapter 3. I can tell my editor will have a few changes, but no doubt the message of The Creator is clear!

We are given a metaphorical garden patch by The Creator. Tending it to help it yield a bountiful harvest is a way to show gratitude to The Creator, a testament to our personal power of creation and a gift to feed and inspire those around us.

Namaste, Sheryl

What Do You Want to Do Next?

“You know, I’m not a huge fan of the concept of ‘passion’ when it comes to careers. Instead of trying to answer the daunting question of ‘What’s your passion?’ it’s better simply to watch what you do when you’ve got time of your own and nobody’s looking.”

– Daniel H. Pink (1964-)

I have been reading a bit about highly sensitive people (www.hsperson.com), careers and crossroads. Along my path of discovery I found a YouTube video, “How Dan Pink Learned the Six Lessons.” Here is a writer who meandered into a very successful career, simply by doing what he enjoyed and not what he didn’t enjoy. He first finished law school and then discovered that he didn’t want to do what attorneys do!

Always looking for opportunities and never giving up on making a living in an enjoyable way, Daniel Pink found his way into speechwriting and then into research and writing books about business.

Still, as he describes it, it was all so casual. There were unexpected turns on the way to his successes. I would have to say he stayed in the present moment in his desire to enjoy his future moments. He was open to many different opportunities and did not flinch at working outside the parameters of a normal business environment.

Inspiring!

Namaste,  Sheryl

Mistakes

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

– Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1926-2004)


“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

– John Wooden (1910-2010)


“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”

– Buddha (563-483 BCE)


I made a mistake. Well, I think I made a mistake, anyway. Here’s the story… in a last-minute plan that seemed like a great idea at the time, I came to Hawaii in June and spent less than a week looking at the island and finding a home for my family to live. While I found great schools for my children, I ignored the warning signs of finding a suitable place for us to live. On our last day of the exploratory visit, I booked a rental house, only to find out now that the home is in poor repair and the landlord does not care to do what is necessary to fix it. The rental market is very tight, with few three bedroom homes. And it is impossible for us to purchase a comfortable home given the Hawaiian cost of living and our coming from a low cost of living area – Texas.

If I shared my story with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, she would advise me to go inside and to discover what it is I am supposed to learn. I would say that it has been a huge blessing to become closer to my stepson who lives here. His girlfriend has advised me on artwork for my first book and will serve as my editor, too! I would say that I appreciate the abundance of fresh tropical fruits and fish. I would say that I learned that I value a comfortable home that works well over panoramic views and access to beaches.

If I shared my story with John Wooden, he would commend me on being a “doer.” He would tell me about the many people who never take chances. He would say that doing often results in successes, too. Keep doing, he would say.

If I shared my story with The Buddha, he would ask me if I had gone all the way. I started this, to be sure, so no mistake there. But have I gone all the way? Could waiting for the manifestation of money bring us to a comfortable home? Or does going all the way mean I’ve accepted Hawaii for everything it is and exhausted all the possibilities for a pleasurable life here?

I am so glad to have these many mentors to help me. I know that if we return to Texas – our current plan now – I will spend plenty of time getting to know our new town so that our basic needs for comfort can be easily met. I will not make the same mistake again, at least, not on purpose!

Thank you, Creator of All, that you give me mistakes and life lessons, so that I may grow stronger. Thank you that I can be an example to others who may be considering the mistake I made. Thank you that I can model resilience, perseverance and a good attitude for those around  me.

Namaste, Sheryl

Adversity

“‘Cause when push comes to shove,
You taste what you’re made of.
You might bend ’til you break,
‘Cause it’s all you can take.
On your knees you look up,
Decide you’ve had enough.
You get mad, you get strong,
Wipe your hands, shake it off.
Then you stand,
Yeah, then you stand.

Every time you get up
And get back in the race,
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place.”
– from the song “Stand” by Rascal Flatts

What is adversity? Sometimes, it’s like sand paper, smoothing out our bumps and blemishes, and we are more beautiful for it. Sometimes, it’s like a hill that we are supposed to find our way around. Sometimes, it’s a mountain range, reminding us that we are supposed to appreciate where we are instead of trying to be somewhere else.

However adversity works for us in any given instance and at any stage in our lives, what is sure is that we can learn something from it. We don’t have to choose to be a victim in our adversity. Instead, we can choose to be a student of our adversity. We can choose to prepare ourselves, through our adversities, to become teachers to others facing similar adversity. How many times do we find our most gifted teachers went to the school of “hard knocks” for their training? Constantly, right!

Maybe we don’t consciously ask for adversity: “Creator of All, please send me serious problems.” But once we have it, we can choose what to do with it: We can Stand!

Namaste, Sheryl

faith

Faith

“Thank you, Creator of All, for the gift of faith. Sometimes, my journey seems too uncertain to bear, and it is my faith in a bright future that keeps me going. Thank you for the strength to keep a smile on my face and in my heart, no matter what.” – Sheryl Miller

This prayer reminds me to fake it until I make it. One of the most difficult things I do is to pretend I am having a good time when life is hard. Praying to The Creator in this way helps me to keep smiling through the rough times, too.

Namaste, Sheryl