“We may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving.” — Bernard Meltzer (1916 – 1998)
Quotations about giving and love, like this one above, bewildered me for most of my life. I didn’t understand them. I was raised to believe that I might be worthy of love, if I fulfilled some condition. The process of giving was akin to a currency system. Giving meant I might receive something. Receiving meant I would give up something. In my house, we kept score, and giving for no reason or purpose was unthinkable. My family was the embodiment of the first phrase of Meltzer’s quotation.
I had no idea that this thinking was unhealthy and that I was broken. But the Creator of All, in His/Her wisdom, created and then recreated troublesome scenarios in my life so I could question, “Why is this happening again?” I found people to help me. Wayne Dyer’s work was a start. Deepak Chopra’s books were life-changing. Brene Brown leaves me speechless. Two counselors and several social media communities provided the insight I needed. And now, ten years along this journey, I am profoundly different.
Giving with love and without conditions is our natural inclination. It is one important reason why we are here. Please, pause a moment and ask your soul if this is true.
Raise your hand if asking this question put a smile on your face and brought peace to your heart. (Wow, that’s a lot of hands!) Can you give without expectations or conditions? If yes, then continue to do so as much as you can. Every act of giving, no matter how large or small, brings peace to the world. If no, then practice; it will come naturally after a while. You can start little: slip money into the tip jar when the cashier turns his head or give more credit to someone else than yourself on a group project.
Finally, let’s talk about giving in, which I think is one of the most beautiful ways of giving with love. Giving in is about unconditional acceptance of differences in people, in their ideals, and in their ideas. Loving people so much that you will not argue with them is an expression of respect, and it recognizes their individual importance in our world.
I apologize for rambling on. It has been a while since I blogged, so my writing is a little loose. But hang in there with me; it will get better. With love, I give you my best, and I wish you peace and success on your journey.